It's like losing a family pet or something.

I'm convinced that when it comes to computers, I'm cursed with incredibly bad luck. The latest proof of this is my netbook.
About a year ago, I bought an Asus Eee PC. It's a pretty decent little fucker, with 160 GB of memory, 1 GB of RAM, a great battery life and a menagerie of other semi-decent statistics. It was around $300, which was the best part- for the price, this thing more than got the job done, and quite frankly, after the death (and subsequent resurrection) of my laptop (which I may go into eventually) I needed a new portal to Internet Land.
The computer itself, I actually can't complain about. It never picked up any viruses, despite my rampant downloading of things; it ran much faster than any other device in the house (even my boyfriend's netbook, which is the exact same brand, make, and model); it was more durable than any other piece of equipment I had, which is necessary for someone as hella clumsy as me; it ran MMORPGs with minimal lag; it could pick up a decent WiFi signal almost from across the freaking street. The little machine was beastly.
Is beastly. I mean, it's not technically gone yet.
Technically, it's just kind of in a coma.

I think it all started to go downhill when a roommate of mine broke a chair (that wasn't his) which the proceeded to fall on my netbook, breaking the screen- both of which he refused to comment on, fix or replace, instead opting to move out, bringing his father over to in an attempt to make us explain to HIM why the douchebag should do something about these things.
But I digress; this is not a post about my shitty ex-roommates. (That one, I'll save for another time.)
After that, I had to hook my poor little portable wonder up to a huge Hitachi monitor from what appears to be the stone age (but probably is just around 1996). This was okay, I guess: having had to do the same with my previous laptop (seriously), it wasn't that big of a deal for me once I got over the douchebaggery of the leaving roommate.
After that, the little beast kept on going for quite a while, doing what it was made to do, albeit in an immobile fashion. It even kept going when the boyfriend's Eee battery died and he asked me to switch, which made sense: after all, if mine was stuck in one place, might as well hook it up to the wall and let him keep his mobility, right?
(It was still a sad moment for me.)
Eventually, boyfriend's card died, too, so I begin to let him use mine- whenever the battery in his netbook ran out of juice, I would turn off mine and let him charge for as long as he needed. As this became more and more common, though, he began to use the cords for longer periods of time, sometimes taking it to keep his netbook alive while playing MMORPGs and the like, while my poor baby sat on the dresser, unused, collecting dust.
And last week, it happened: the cord that had kept my poor thing chugging through all it's adversity (and kept the boyfriend up and online, too) finally gave out.

This means that I can no longer use my precious Asus baby :( He is in a deep sleep that, until I get a replacement cord, I cannot bring him out of. But sometimes I wonder if all that life support is worth it: don't get me wrong, I love him, and he is a monster, and I would love to have him back, but in a way, I feel like he deserves some rest, you know?

As for now, I am working on my slow, lame Jesus laptop, trying to keep the internet cravings at bay, but it's not the same, and it never will be again.

</emo rant>

In two days, I will be 31 weeks pregnant.

Seriously.
Also, my ultrasound is totally next week! Everyone and their mother is excited to find out the gender of the thing growing inside of me. As a matter of fact, most of these people are more excited about this than I am. Why? I don't really know. I think it's a little weird.

Probably the weirdest thing is that people now feel the need to treat me differently than they did before. I don't get this either. If we acted like buddies before you knew I had a parasite in my uterus, why treat me like I'm an alien now?
The biggest person I have this problem with is a roommate. A new roommate, to be sure, but why should that matter? He knew me before he moved in, he even knew that I was pregnant before he moved in! But now that I'm showing a bit he doesn't talk to me and either stares at me wide-eyed or leaves the room when I enter.
Fucking. Annoying.
I want to say something to him, but I know that I'd either start yelling at him for making me so damn uncomfortable, or mocking him for being more frightened of me now that I'm in a state where I couldn't just beat him up whenever I wanted.

Luckily, I've only had two people do that thing where they come up and touch my belly, and they were people I'm friends with, so nobody's been thrown into traffic yet. When that does start happening, though, stand clear! That's probably one of the weirdest things you can do to a pregnant person, I think. At what point does my abdomen become public freaking property?
I worry for the people who do this without my consent.

On a side note: I accidentally ended a sentence with a preposition today! I was so ashamed T_T

You know what are awesome? Euphemisms.

No, no, I'm completely serious. Euphemisms are probably the coolest things politically correct minds have ever invented. Not only are they completely ridiculous, they vary all over the world! It's amazing. For instance, did you know the Australian equivalent of "knocked up" is "up the duff?"
That's right. Up the duff.
I have to say,  though, that my favorite euphemism for pregnancy is "came down with a case of sperm poisoning." I think that might have been the best one I came across all today.

Some other random euphamisms I found particularly interesting:

• "The wheel's turning, but the hamster is dead" - calling someone stupid
• "Promoted to glory" - when someone has died
• "Heat seeking missile" - best penis one I found

Any other really awesome ones I missed?

That's some creepy-ass stalker shit.

 I realize that when you move far away from the rest of your family, the internet is a good way to keep strong ties with them. Seriously, I get that! And I understand that you may follow, say, their facebook page with the intention of keeping up with their lives. That's fine, sure! But when you (or, more probably, your significant other) reads through fifteen fucking comments of back-and-forth between me and someone you don't even fucking know to learn about my life, that's creepy. Hell, that's even stalker-y. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're my sister. That. Is. Straight. Up. Creepy.

And the worst part is your response- "Why is this how I find things out?" Maybe it's because, you know, you have to search through my shit to find it out. Did you ever think that maybe there were reasons you weren't informed in the first place? There are, and they're pretty fuckin' good ones, too. Just sayin'.

</rant>